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34 votes |
5 votes | |
TOP 15 THINNEST BOOKS
15. MY PLAN TO FIND THE REAL KILLERS - by O. J. Simpson
14. THINGS I WOULD NOT DO FOR MONEY - by Dennis Rodman
13. THE WILD YEARS - by Al Gore
12. AMELIA EARHART'S GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC OCEAN
11. AMERICA'S MOST POPULAR LAWYERS
10. DETROIT - A TRAVEL GUIDE
9. DR. KEVORKIAN'S COLLECTION OF MOTIVATIONAL SPEECHES
8. EVERYTHING MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN
7. EVERYTHING WOMEN KNOW ABOUT MEN
6. GEORGE FOREMAN'S BIG BOOK OF BABY NAMES
5. TO ALL THE MEN I'VE LOVED BEFORE - by Ellen DeGeneres
4. MIKE TYSON'S GUIDE TO DATING ETIQUETTE
3. SPOTTED OWL RECIPES - by the EPA
2. THE AMISH PHONE DIRECTORY
And the World's Number One Shortest book...
1. THE BOOK OF VIRTUES - by Bill Clinton |
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22 votes |
6 votes | |
Subject: Kids
A little boy and a little girl were sitting on the porch
talking, when the little girl asked: "Do you want to get
undressed and we can play doctor?" The little boy
replied, "That's too old fashioned"... "spit out your gum, I
want to play President." |
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9 votes |
11 votes | |
Rumors have been circulating regarding what the troopers
were shouting after they found the man hiding Elian Gonzalez
in a closet during the raid of the house that was illegally
holding him.
Some people claim they were shouting, "Bingo! Bingo! Bingo!"
Others claim it was, "Score! Score! Score!"
But we at Shagmail know what was really said. When the
trooper rippedthe closet door and was brought face to
face with the fisherman holding Elian, he shouted, "Drop the
Chalupa!" |
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Free! Click here for your chance at free prizes!
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11 votes |
8 votes | |
What do you call Bill Clinton and Al Gore sitting in the front seat of your car?
Dual airbags
If Clinton,Gore,Bradley jumped off the world trade center,who would hit first?
Who cares!
Why did Al Gore's proctologist call?
He finally found Al's Head!
What's the difference between Bill Clinton and the Hindenburg?
One is a big fat nazi gas bag and the other was an aircraft.
What are the chances of Al Gore becoming president?
Excellent--if the republicans nominate Saddam Hussein. |
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9 votes |
9 votes | |
How To Be A Good Republican...by Ann Richards:
1. You have to believe that the nation's current 8-year
prosperity was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George Bush,
but yesterday's gasoline prices are all Clinton's fault.
2. You have to believe that those privileged from birth achieve
success all on their own.
3. You have to believe that someone like Michelle Pfeiffer can
really walk into an inner city classroom and accomplish miracles.
4. You have to appreciate the power rush that comes with
sporting a gun.
5. You have to believe everything Rush Limbaugh says.
6. You have to believe that the agricultural, restaurant,
housing and hotel industries can survive without immigrant labor.
7. You have to believe God hates homosexuality, but loves the
death penalty.
8. You have to believe society is color-blind and growing up
black in America doesn't diminish your opportunities, but you
still won't vote for Alan Keyes.
9. You have to believe that pollution is OK as long as it makes
a profit.
10. You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you
don't pray to Allah or Buddha.
11. You have to believe Newt Gingrich and Henry Hyde were really
faithful husbands.
12. You have to believe speaking a few Spanish phrases makes you
instantly popular in the barrio.
13. You have to be against government interference in business
until your oil company, corporation or Savings and Loan is about
to go broke and you beg for a government bail out.
14. You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus
shares your hatred for AIDS victims, homosexuals, and President
Clinton.
15. You have to believe a poor, minority student with a
disciplinary history and failing grades will be admitted into an
elite private school with a $1,000 voucher. |
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13 votes |
4 votes | |
The newly-hatched snake and the newly-born rabbit came face to
face. Both were so young their eyes had not yetd. Neither
knew what the other was, so they decided to feel each other and
make a guess.
First the snake slithered over the rabbit and then
concluded: "You have warm fur, whiskers, long ears and you hop
around. You must be a bunny."
Then the rabbit ran its paws over the snake. "You are slippery,
you crawl on the ground, and have no balls. You must be a
politician." |
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7 votes |
7 votes | |
A man walks into a tee shirt store. There are 3 shirts on
display.
The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache.
Below the picture is titled "Got Milk."
The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white
mustache. It is entitled "Forgot Milk."
The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a
white mustache. It is entitled "Not Milk." |
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