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Pet Monkey
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while
he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs
some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and
eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls,
sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows
it whole.
The bartender sees this and screams at the guy, "Did you see what
your monkey just did?" The guy says "No, what?" "He
just ate the cue ball off my pool table... whole!" "Yeah, that
doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "He eats everything in
sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff".
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate,
then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He
orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While
the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a cherry on the bar.
He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
he asks. "No, what?" replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a
cherry up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me", the guy replied. "He
still eats everything in sight, but ever since the cue ball incident,
he measures everything first."
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