|
Lindsey Lohan or Uncle Jesse?
Written by Raffman on May 16 2004
Exbyte eCheat.com Sloppy Cat College Free Stuff WTF People |
Everyone has their own personal addictions and vices; the one's who say they don't are fucking lying. So as the 21st
birthday comes closer to arrival, just two short sober days away, what comes to mind? Well aside from swimming in vats full of liqour and natty light are casinos.
More specifically, the mother of all casinos, Las Vegas.
Now while I'm not the biggest poker or texas-hold'em player right now, I feel the
momentum shifting. Who knows, maybe once I'm drunk
off my ass and lose a few benjamins I'll get so pissed off I'll never want to do it again. Eh, now that I really think about it
that probably ain't gonna happen.
Take this dumbass for example, Brian Strahl. This deuchebag was scheduled to be sentenced for masterminding an illegal million-dollar
investment scheme and instead of going to his sentencing he fucking goes to Vegas to play in the World Series of Poker.
People like this
simply amaze me, and it's sad how gambling has taken control of this fucker's life. Well it's more funny than sad, at least from our
perspective. He even had the balls to fax his lawyer telling him he decided to play some Poker instead of going to his federal court date.
In my opinion this assclown watches Maverick
way too much for his own good.
[ Babes and Stuff - 1215 - Mental Ernie ]
So last night I'm watching Saturday Night Live and I realize the hosts for this week's show are the Olson Twins, yep you heard it, pin a rose on your fuckin nose. I guess
yesterday they both turned 18 years of age which ended up causing massive demonstrations of public masturbation from sick, incompetent, horny
males around the world.
I think they both still look like they're 10 years old, but hey maybe it's just me. I work at a private golf club
every day with retired, rich women who bitch about their crabs all day. Maybe that's affected my eyesight or something ... Nope, they still
look like they're 10 years old.
In celebration(?) of their 18th birthday, check out our Full House Spoof in our movies section, fully equipped with DJ, Uncle Jesse, and more good,
Christian morals than Seventh Heaven could ever come up with. If any of you are big Bob Sagat fans I would advise you to not watch the
movie. In reality though my recommendations are about as effective as the UN's so do whatever the fuck you want.
Sticking with my theme of bad habits and addictions, here is the other half of the human shower tendencies. Again this is courteous of my
good friends at BV Designs, check them out.
Be sure to check out the linkage at the end, you shall not be disappointed! Are you ever though really? Grandma's my name, spoilin's my
game!
Lindsey Lohan in Vanity Fair
How to Shower like a Man:
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your girlfriend/wife along the way, flash her making the "woo, woo" sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut scratch your balls. Proceed to use hand to wipe under nutsack and get a
good whiff of the zesty aroma of your
ballsweat.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth. (you don't use one)
6. Wash your face.
7. Wash your armpits.
8. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
9. Wash your privates and surrounding area. Make a pouty face because you realize the aroma of your ballsweat has now diminished.
10. Wash your ass, leaving hair on the soap bar or bath sponge.
11. Shampoo your hair. (do not use conditioner)
12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror until the shampoo drips into your eyes, causing you to squeal like a
girl.
14. Take a whiz in the shower because
walking an extra 2 feet would require too much energy.
15. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub when you
checked your Mohawk.
16. Partially dry yourself off.
17. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire weener size.
18. Leave shower curtainand wet bath mat on the floor.
19. Leave bathroom fan and light on.
20. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your girlfriend/wife, pull off the towel, grab your wiener, go "Yeah
baby" and thrust your pelvis at her.
21. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed and then coax girlfriend to remove your clothes immediately and proceed to give
you head.
[ Bad Jocks - College Sucks! - Chasem.net ]
| | PREV
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
NEXT
|
- Mr. Steinacologist has a new column out today entitled, 'Tastes Like Burning!'.
- Past updates can be found here.
- Click here to get FREE iPods, Sony Camcorders, and more!
- Quite possibly the FUNNIEST shit ever!!! - Created by: Joker
- Raffman's interview with PARIS HILTON! - Created by: Raffman
- Jennifer Aniston nude on the beach! - Created by: Whore1
- Lindsay Lohan & Ashlee Simpson give us 3 thumbs up! - Created by: PlsThx
- Christina Aguilar's sex tape! - Created by: Cliffster
- Found some awesome new flash games! - Created by: Game Sloth
- Call of Duty Reviewed! - Created by: Raffman
- Acapulco Party Pictures from my trip ... - Created by: hot_becky
- Cancun 2004 Wet T-Shirt Contest Movies!! - Created by: turkish
- Movies so funny you'll laugh! - Created by: Castro
- How to grow a third testicle! Hilarious! - Created by: Jokaroo
- One of my favorite Jokes!! - Created by: freddywho21
- Paris Hilton caught with marijuana!! - Created by: Jokaroo
- Marble Madness old-school flash game!! - Created by: Game Sloth
- Lindsey Lohan Nude Pics! - Created by: Whore1
- How to get laid every week at college! - Created by: joker
- Register in our forums by clicking here.
- Check out the Top 100 College Entertainment sites here.
So I'm surfing around the net and come across this website with this beautiful woman and realize she's signed up at this website of local people just basically looking for casual sex and I think to myself, how badass is this? The best part is
is that it's 100% free to sign up for! It's always nice to find someone that is looking for the same thing you are....just a piece of ass. You can check out this sweet
ass website by clicking here; your new fuck buddy is just one click away! Whether you're looking for threesomes, one on one, or tag-team action, milf sex, or teens; I'm sure this site can fulfill your every need. Outside of the people just looking for straight up sex, you can also register to find people that are just
looking for a good ole' fashion relationship. The only reason why we are posting this website is because it is free to register and we're always here to help out the broke college student in his/her quest to make every penny be used to buy more beer.
|
|
|
|