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Paris Hilton Would be Proud
Written by Raffman on Febuary 4 2005
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Free nude personals! Need a CC verification, but it's totally free! Here's a great new text file, be sure to check them all out along with the tons of other new content here at College Downtime! Danger from personal computers? Most people think of electromagnetic fields or getting zapped while monkeying around inside the box. Nothing immediately threatening could happen while just printing a spreadsheet. Right?
That's what I thought until last week when my wife was severely bitten by our kitten as it was hanging in mid-air by the tip of its tail. It all started so innocently. Our 8-month-old kitten likes to lie on top of our Apple Personal LaserWriter LS. We have tried to get him off, but he keeps getting back up on it. He must like the hum. My wife was printing a few pages in the background. While she was talking on the phone, there suddenly was a shriek from the kitten. The printer was only about 2 feet away from her, luckily turned the opposite direction. The kitten was sprawled stiff on top of the printer, like he had been stuffed. We just had him declawed, but his teeth were grabbing at anything in sight, including my wife's arm as she tried to turn off the printer. The party on the other end of the phone thought that both the kitten and my wife were being murdered.
After a few deep bites, the printer was off, but the tail was still stuck in the top roller that ejects the paper from the printer. Apparently, the hair on the tip of his tail had gotten inside the roller and was sucked in as the paper was being fed out. While my wife was getting a towel to prevent further injury, the kitten jumped off the side of the printer. The top of the desk is slightly waxed and the printer nearly slid off. It would have landed on top of him. Can you imagine how hard it is to figure out how toa printer under these conditions? Before she got the towel around him, the kitten took a few more deep bites out of my wife's leg through her bluejeans! After what must have seemed like an eternity, my wife got the printerand freed the kitten.
A $27 trip to the vet informed us that we had a real lucky kitten. If he had been a little older and heavier, the tail would have separated and required amputation. If he still had claws, my wife would have had to have been stitched back together. What if it had been a child's long hair? So Apple, how about a Kitty Guard (What the fuck is a Kitty Guard?)? Unfortunately, Cats don't read the generic warnings that came with the printer. I really like the quality and value of the printer. How much extra would I pay for more safety? At least $27. I knew I was cutting corners when I bought the printer since it did not include PostScript, but I really didn't expect this.
Several other companies also use the same type of printer case. They all have a max speed of 4 pages/minute and a cut-out in the top for the paper to reverse stack or innocent kitties to take a nap. Some have different paper feed mechanisms, so the eject roller may also vary. In case you were wondering, the kitten has been avoiding the printer the last few days, but was seen standing on it once while it was off.
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