Mark Brennaman has a unique way of looking at life's situations and a funny, surprising and delightful way of describing them -- he's a humor columnist and a problemsolver who has little time for fools.
I'm a techie now!
I'm now a certified computer technician. Well, the certified part is a bit of a stretch unless you're thinking along the lines that I'm a certified nut for thinking I could get inside my computer to install a little gizmo . . . More
Poverty can be erased
Tomorrow, the government sends agents of the FDIC, FEMA, NRA, and even all the local dog catchers to every homeless shelter and to every welfare office across the country. Their job is to deliver to every adult in the country at or below the poverty line a booklet of vouchers . . . More
Flying safe
It's often said that flying is safer than driving on our highways. That may be true, but with all the terrorist attacks of late it seems that airline safety must be re-examined . . . More
Lawyers to the rescue!
Where I live there would be no local television broadcasting stations if it weren't for a bevy of personal injury lawyers. You see, nearly one hundred percent of the commercials on all of Lexington's broadcast stations feature lawyers shilling themselves for clients who've either been in an automobile accident or been victimized by a doctor or pharmaceutical company . . . More
Bodytronics
There's Abforce, Abtronics, Ab-energizer and a host of other neat-sounding gizmos that are supposed to give you washboard abs without any effort. Now, I've always been taught that nothing worthwhile can be had without an honest effort -- something for nothing just doesn't work .. . More
Building a hot dog factory
Way back during my college days I had a summer job, a union job that paid very well. I was a pipefitter's helper and I helped build an Oscar Meyer hot dog factory . . . More
Orange shortage
I'm concerned that soon there will be a shortage of orange juice. It's not that the orange groves in Florida and California are producing fewer oranges, it's just that a lot of the orange harvest is being diverted for other uses . . . More
The Benefits of Moving Halloween
More often than not, by the time children don their Halloween costumes to embark on their trick or treat outing, it's so cold outside they have to cover them with a heavy coat . . . More
Do you have the day?
People who don't wear watches will often ask those who do, "Pardon me, do you have the time?" I don't wear a watch, and I don't carry a day planner, either. I'm always pretty sure about the time, at least within twenty minutes or so. But knowing which day it is, that's totally different . . . More
Lava Lamp Mania
There's a small town in north central Washington State by the name of Soap Lake. It's a town in decline, but two enterprising citizens have launched a campaign to erect the world's largest lava lamp
in the center of the city to revitalize the town's economy. I know I'll be there when they dedicate this awesome tourist attraction! . . . More
The Moving History of the Brönnimanns
True, I'm here to write about it, but you have no idea how close I came to have never been born. I shudder to even think about it. And I often wonder what some of my cousins and other relatives might be like had their existence not been nipped in the bud long, long ago.
While some in my family were sold as mercenaries others were imprisoned in this castle at Thun, Switzerland . . . More
Classic Car Sunday
A local church has been advertising heavily on television a special event supposedly in an effort to attract more people to its Sunday service . . . More
California Do-Over '03
Welcome to the California League of Women Voters' six-part mini-series, California Do-Over '03 . . . More
I Could Have Been a Millionaire
The way I figure, I could have $1,817,351.54 in the bank right now, but I chose to enrich poor ol' Phillip Morris instead. I've been smoking cigarettes for longer than I care to mention here. When I was young my parents smoked Pall Malls and I'd sneak a couple out of their packs to try them out.
I eventually became mesmerized by the Marlboro Man, and wanted to be just like him -- except for the part where he dies of lung cancer
. . . More
Free Money!
Norbert Bowen, Erika Laroche, Garland Queen, Hallie Childress, Lamar Kurtz and a host of other nice folks are really looking out for me.
They keep sending me emails with offers I just can't believe. Literally . . . More
Multi-Media Monsters
On a recent visit with my sister I got to see her three-year-old granddaughter, my great-niece, Jaylen (pronounced Jay-lean). As I entered the house one afternoon she was busy watching Disney-Pixar's Monsters, Inc..
I sat down in the living room and she ran over to me and climbed onto my lap so I could watch the movie with her . . . More
A Good Sport, AOL
AOL is subject of a global campaign to stop the company from mailing unwanted CDs. You've received them in the mail. You've seen them in magazines. You've probably tripped over them when you entered your favorite computer store . . . More
Honest Abe's souvenirs
Abraham Lincoln was, by all accounts, an honest man. Why, then, does the gift shop next to his boyhood cabin sell such souvenirs? . . . More
The status gadgets we have
I recently had lunch at Logan's Roadhouse, a steak restaurant featuring country music on the juke box and buckets of peanuts on the tables. It's perfectly acceptable to throw the peanut shells on the floor as you munch away while waiting to be waited on, but look at all these status gadgets! . . . More
The best pizza under one roof, and it's staying there!
Pizza Hut advertises on television that they have the best pizza under one roof. I suppose that's correct given the fact that there's probably not a slice of a competitor's pizza under the funny red roof for comparison . . . More
Collision at sea
A long time ago I served in the U. S. Navy as a yeoman (secretary). I spent my last seven months preparing an official Report of Investigation of a collision at sea . . . More
Want cream 'n sugar, hon?
"You want cream 'n sugar, hon." she'll say (not ask). And proof of this is the fact that before she completes her question, there are 17 little containers of imitation cream rolling across my newspaper . . . More
Anger management on the farm
All this recent talk about Mad Cow Disease has me worried that our nation's herds are either mistreated or they're not given proper anger management skills down on the farm . . . . More
Whose Brilliance Shall We Copy?
It was just a matter of time before this subject would be discussed. What scares me is that some people are discussing it seriously. Scientists have located the "stupid" gene in the DNA helix and they want to engage in gene therapy to solve the problem . . .
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Corporate Storybook
A corporate storybook makes a perfect retirement gift. And it helps you create and maintain a positive corporate culture . . .
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Defeating Violent Memories
In October, 1999 I became a victim of a senseless, unprovoked act of violence that left several scars on my neck. I survived and the assailant is in prison, yet I will never really be the same . . . More
