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Parade Rainer
LimeTikiGod
(12:55:21 AM):
i got it! even though hitler was at war with the world, he still
let the olympics happen in germany. thus proving that even swarn
enemies have hearts sometimes.
MisterAwesome10
(1:56:39 AM):
actually...The 1936 Olympic
games were allotted to Berlin before the nazis came to power but
then it became the perfect opportunity for Hitler to show the
world how efficient Nazi Germany was to scare everyone into
thinking they were the shit. It was also the perfect opportunity
for the Nazis to prove to the world the reality of the Master
Race and Hitler was pissed when a black American won first place
in one of the races or something. -- but ya...nothing to do with
sympathy. it was actually the opposite...
WAR........
Was Bush right after
all?...
Dramatic changes in Mideast has silenced Bush critics...
Iraq's And Afghanistan's New Ministers For Women's Affairs
Thanked America For Liberating Their Countries, Especially
Their Women
New poll shows Muslim opinion of U.S.
improving dramatically...
Good News From Afghanistan
--------------------------------------------------
Pics From The Freedom Rally In Lebanon (This Is Huge)
Anti-Syrian, Anti-Government Rally, With Anywhere Between
800,000 And 1.3 Million People In The Streets Out Of
Lebanon's 3.7 Million People
The Statue Of Late Syrian President Hafez Assad In The
Southern Village Of Qana Was Attacked On Thursday For The
Second Time In Two Weeks, As Anti-Syrian Sentiment Gains
Force
--------------------------------------------------
Amir Taheri: Anti-War Pests In
Freedom's Way
Support Among Palestinians For Suicide Bombings Has Dropped
Sharply In The Past Six Months, From 77 Percent To 29
Percent (Impressive Drop)
Thousands Of Iraqi Shi'ites Protested After Hearing Reports
That Relatives Of A Jordanian Suicide Bomber Suspected Of
Killing 125 People In The Town Of Hilla Celebrated Him As A
Martyr
--------------------------------------------------
Charles Krauthammer: Three Cheers For The Bush Doctrine
Poll Of Iraqis: 62% Say The Country Is Headed In The Right
Direction And 23% Say The Wrong Direction
Iraq Convenes First National Assembly
Brave Iraqis
turn out to tell thugs: Get lost...
British dentist becomes savior to his Iraqi hometown...
Iraqi Poll: Do You Support The Severe Measures The Iraqi
Government Is Taking Against Terrorist Acts In Iraq? 93.56%
= Yes -- 6.44% = No
Joe Klein On The Syrian Troop Withdrawal. From President
Assad: "Please Send This Message: I Am Not Saddam Hussein. I
Want To Cooperate."
These Chocodiles? Ohmuygod...
Watch
the video...
I laughed for an hour and a half
at this retarded clip from the MakerofFamilyGuy spawned American
Dad when I caught the pilot rerun on Cartoon Network last week.
I had to share it with you all... The show looks promising. The
entire premise is to mock conservative republicans as overly
patriotic sheeplike blind to enlightened liberal thought morons
(how original. not) but it works pretty great.
The character profiles are:
conservative dad, obedient wife, nerdy son, liberal hippie
daughter, eccentric alien, German fish with human brain. Should
be good. But ya. I don't care to talk about it. Just wanted to
share the dopey clip I cracked up at.
You know you're a nerd when...
You know you're a nerd when you're
waiting in line at Burger King to purchase a $10.00 burger and
fries at LAX (airport) because the airlines have gotten so
cheap, they don't even feed you on 5 hour flights to New York
anymore, and you decide to pass the mind numbingly long minutes
away by remembering random facts you know by heart but can't
master very well at the time because you didn't go to sleep the
night prior. What am I talking about?
For instance: Who is Brian
Williams, and who is Chris Wallace? Come on Richard. You know
both these men and watch them regularly. But when you're
standing in line to buy a $10.00 burger and fries for a 5 hour
flight to New York when you didnt sleep the night before - your
memory plays tricks on you. So I thought about it. And timed it.
It took me 1 minute and 28 seconds
to remember who was who - Brian Williams of course being Tom
Brockaws replacement on NBC Nightly News and Chris Wallace being
Tony Snow's (who has colon cancer now I just read. poor guy)
replacement on Fox News Sunday. Simple. But hard to remember for
a mind that's waiting in line at an airport Burger King to
purchase a $10.00 burger and fries to go to New York since they
don't feed you on the planes anymore.
Some other brain teasers I floated
around included but were not limited to - Who is John Gibson?
(the freaky as hell albino looking host of The Big Story and
author of Hating America, or some crap like that).
And oh ya. That flight to New
York? Worst plane ride ever. I've been flying 4-12 times a year
since I was a fetus and that was the most turbulent evil horror
show I've had in an airplane. Everything was going fine until
all of a sudden an hour into the flight (night flight) we start
freakin doing loop de loops or some crap. The stewardesses are
having crap out of their carts flying out everywhere and they're
not even picking em up - they're just trying to get their asses
to the back of the plane to get strapped into safety. And then
the pilot comes over the intercom with his stupid calm "oh hey.
surry aboot this little tiny notgonnakillyou bumpiness. Ima
gonna fix that right now" lines and I kept thinking of the
douchey little robot pilot on Star Tours at Disneyland where
he's like "I know this is your first time flying today. and its,
MINE TOO. heh-ha!"
I was in the 4th to last row on
the plane so I could see the entire body of the aircraft ahead
of me violently shaking under the course weather. Holy crap it
was bad. Notsomuch the massive left to right rattles that
jostled the entire plane like a bitch who didn't have dinner
ready on time - those I can handle and I'm pretty used to - but
the sudden and seemingly long dips sharply downward that made me
think we were going to plummet from the sky in a fiery panic
filled death was the part I didn't somuch care for. Ya - I
didn't mention that Star Tours used to make me cry when I was
little cuz I can't handle the whole falling thing. And that ride
isn't even a real roller coaster. It's a room that moves in sync
with a video in front of you.
So ya - that and the Arabian
gentleman 2 rows to my right screaming his head off and freaking
the hell out didnt somuch aid in the pleasure factor in my
flying experience. I kept a deadpan face that I think brought
comfort to the people looking for reactions out of other
passengers to dictate whether they should panic too or not, but
I was screaming bloody murder in my head, listening to Feelin
Groovy on my iPod the whole time. It was kinda poetic. I think
i'll reenact it with some stock footage or something when I get
home.
So then my dad (flight dispatcher
for American Airlines) acts like it was no big deal when I talk
to him and is all like "so, it got a little choppy over Arizona
eh?" and I'm like. shut up. I almost died.
Right now I'm sitting in a hotel
lobby killing 2 hours before
NY Johnny can come
pick my ass up and bring it back to his house when he gets off
work. I can't connect to the nearest wireless internet beam, so
I remembered that story and typed it out. It reminds me how
interesting and awesome I am and that I need to chronicle my
mental adventures in quirkiness much more often. Good thing I
plan to. When I get home I've got some good stuff in the works.
Some good. stuff. K. Putting in iPod headphones now. More
blogging later.....
Colin Quinn is a nice guy
Went to the Comedy Cellar in NYC
the other day and had 2 pineapple juices and a water over the
course of a couple hours while watching a range of classic NY
comics. Colin Quinn was a headlining act and was his usual self.
After his bit was over he headed out and couldn't find his coat.
He was rummaging around the ones set in front of me and my
friends when I told him he did a good job compared to his usual
crap and he asked if the coat he thought was maybe his was any
of ours. I told him to just take it since it wasn't mine and
after the bonding experience thought it would be appropriate to
take a picture or make out or something.
So we ducked into the hall outside
the main room and snapped a quick photo (which i'll post when
its developed and scanned in about 3 1/2 years) and exchanged a
couple more lines of meaningful dialog, mostly consisting of how
soft his hands were (he grazed mine during the picture taking
and I complimented their supple nature. he moisturizes. good
man).
He left and we went back inside
and I never heard from him again. No call. No flowers. No nothin.
But whatever. I can take it. I'm awesome like that.
Colin gets a bad rap from his
critics since he's a line stumbling bastard, but he earned my
respect back when he handed Al Franken his ass on three (3)
major argumentative fact stomping instances during a single
episode of Tough Crowd on Comedy Central awhile back. The video
is on www.RichWatch.net
somewhere. But ya. Colin Quinn. Nice guy. Soft hands.
Funny cuz it's new
Pizza is the only food that can
trick me I think. I'm always so excited to shove it in my mouth,
I eat it too hott every time and burn off my gums and tongue.
You'd think I'd at least learn my lesson for that slice, but.
notsomuch. I go back in for another bite every freakin time.
It's pathetic. But anyway - speaking of pizza, and the filthy
greasy Italian fat men who make it - I'm in New York right now.
I'll be traveling for the next 4 plus weeks. Woo. My approximate
Travel schedule is as follows:
New York: February 11th - 18th
Italy/Rome: February 18th - 27th
St Louis: February 27th - March 7th or so
(maybe Dallas on the way home)
Updates will be no less frequent
while I'm gone so don't panic. And when I get back I've got a
whole richardland relandscaping planned and that will rock.
*Remember that my birthday is the day after St Patrick's day
(March 18th) so you can shop early or
Paypal me
a moderate sum of money
any time. Never mind how old I'm gonna be. I'm forever young
dammit. Bleh.
Here are some new videos:
>George
of the Jungle, Hawaii edition...
>Old
footage I found of my Senior Prom
You'd be awesome if you weren't
so ugly...
Finally some AIM convo updates:
Smoking is for losers &
Tinkerbell is a whore
K, so
sometimes I forget how much some of you cling to my every
update and the degree to which this website rules your daily
lives aaaand, at such times t
he onslaughts
of e-mail will force me to make the time out of my busy
empire building schedule to post something for the
groundlings - but you have to do it right people...
example being - GOOD: "Hey Rich. Haven't seen an
update in awhile. love the site. You rule. You're totally
awesome. It would bring me joy that I don't deserve from
someone as cool as you if you updated the site which i love.
cuz you rule. Thank you for reading my e-mail. I love you".
-- BAD: "What the hell is taking you so long to
update dude? dude. Dude, you should put something up there.
I visit like every day and. ya. dude. dood. ya."
The more stupid
people that e-mail me the more I hate mankind. The more I hate
mankind, the less I want to rule it. The less I want to rule it,
the less I entertain it and post crap on here. take note. loser.
die. Just kidding. I love you. And your sisters hott.
*shuffles
papers* - In other news:
My
homedogpimpdaddymacsexpal from
SomewhatDamaged
helped slap me into gear in reformatting the R-tv section a
little by doing a buttload of screenshots for my library
that I would have never gotten to if it were left up to me -
aaaaaynd he's also the president elect of a new Richardland
subsidiary site under construction and full of media
goodness from around the web. Coming soon. In development.
Details @ 11:00 (that's a local tv news joke line. so.
don't e-mail me saying "I checked your site at 11 and it
didn't have any more information about the new site!" -
sometimes I forget how stupid some of you are).
Oh ya. I FOUND
THE JOHNNY-TAPE! What the hell is that? You don't care? How
bout you shut the hell up whil I tell you anyway? Bitch. - A
year before I slaughtered his little east coast bagel eating
monkey slapping butt in Marco Polo in the video to your
right here - my old friend from lonG eye-land New
York visited me the last year I lived in Missouri. Lots a
fun, blah blah blah - and then when I get my camera repaired
from Wheeler's massive accidental-but-stupid-and-inexcusable
kick of fury on last years
float trip in MO I thought I
left the Johnny tape in there and didn't get it retured. I
was pretty pissed at Sears for awhile, until last week when
I was looking for some pre-teen hermaphrodite porn I shot
with my camera a couple months ago and - blip - there's
Johnny in Missouri! Yeay. That was fun for me. And to share
the fun, I uploaded a short clip of it here for ju all to
play with: **
NY Johnny in Lake St Louis
**
It has dumb cheerleaders in bikini's in it. So. Eat it.
Cracker. [hm. i kinda wanna eat a cracker now]
Speaking of
our lovable smackable white trash friend Wheeler -
www.DAMMITWheeler.com
is under construction and will fully launch later this
month. Already you can see a taste of the idiocy, woman
trouble, parenting problems, misadventures and schizophrenia
that will be regular DammitWheeler merriment in blog rants
and video. Some samples of what's to come my friends:...
AND - Speaking
of friends of mine that ruin their lives by knocking up
chicks they're not married to and keeping the baby ("keeping" meaning "not giving
it up for adoption to a 2 parent stable and loving family
that will love it and care for it and stuff" of course. not "keeping"
meaning the alternative to having it cut up with a scalpel
and sucked into a sink before its born) - Richardland Guest
star Jimmy Bussey just had a little girl a couple weeks ago.
I'm still waiting for some decent pictures and stuff but I'm
sure she's ugly, so its all good.
In honor of the joyous occasion
of the birth of the girl Wheelers 1 year old
son is going to knock up in 15 years and make early
grandparents out of these 2 idiots - here is some vintage R-TV
video of the new dads back in the day:
The Superbowl is Gaaaay...
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