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272 jokes in the category Religious
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Yo mamas so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade
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Yo Mama is so fat Jesus cant lift her soul.
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Ther was a crippled man that walked in a cathlic church. He walked in slowly with his crutches and stood in front of the holywater to pray.when he was done he splashed holywater on his leggs and threw the crutches. the priest that was ther ran to the other priest to tell him what had happened."this cripled man he walked in and splashed holywater on his leggs and don't you know he threw them crutches." then the other priest said "its a miracle wher is this man." and the 1st priest said "over ther on the floor.
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A kindergarten class was all drawing pictures. The teacher was walking around the classroom and stops at a girl drawing a picture of a man.
"That is good! Who is it?" asks the teacher.
"Jesus!" replies the girl.
"Oh, but no one knows what Jesus looks like." says the teacher.
"Well, when I finish this, the whole world will know!" the girl replies.
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Church Bulletin Mistakes
1. Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
2. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
3. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
4. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
5. Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
6. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the
new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come
forward and do so.
7. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
8. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
9. The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
10. Weight Watchers will meet at 7:00 pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
11. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
12. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
13. Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
14. Ushers will eat latecomers.
15. Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
16. 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some of the older ones.
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