Alan's Hum-o-rama
Proving since 1996 there ARE more than 30 jokes on the internet... Filtering: All ratings , excluding Adult jokes     
 

Home
Daily Features
Featured T-Shirt
Gags of the week!
Voted funniest
Voted lamest
Most voted on
Special Funnies
Submit a Joke
Entire Catalog
Other Funny Links



My Favorites!
Bar & Drinking
Blonde
Blonde's Revenge
Bumper Sticker/Slogans
Computer
Cop/Police
Doctor &Medical
Engineer
Family & Kids
Geographic/Places
Holiday
Hunting/Farming
Irish
Jewish
Kid Safe!
Lawyer
Little Johhnny
Men & Marriage
Michael Jackson
Millitary
Miscellaneous
One-liners
Other Ethnic
Political
Quotes
Redneck
Religious
School/Teaching
Sports
Yo Mama
Funny T-Shirts
Awesome Pranks!

Get Firefox!



My logo was done by Vlad Kolarov. Please check with Vlad for your own one!

Keywords:

Prev 
Page 
Next  		Sequence:
Jokes-Per-Page:

130 jokes in the category Lawyer


52 votes up
<- Vote! ->
16 votes down
Laff Factor:
PG:36
On their way to get married, a young couple is involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates and waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter shows up, they ask him. St. Peter says, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he leaves. The couple sat and waited for an answer ... for couple of months. While they waited, they discussed that IF they were allowed to get married in Heaven, SHOULD they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together FOREVER?"

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled "Yes," he informs the couple, "you CAN get married in Heaven."

"Great!" said the couple, "But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

"OH, COME ON!!" St. Peter shouts, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground.

"What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple.

"It took me three months to find priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?"

Report this joke as: Duplicate   Wrong Rating   Wrong Category  
funny jokes blond jokes adult jokes irish jokes gay jokes johnny jokes

3 votes up
<- Vote! ->
2 votes down
Laff Factor:
PG:1
The prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand
in a trial - a grandmotherly, elderly woman. He approached her
and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why,
yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were
a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to
me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and
talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising
big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will
amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I
know you." The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do
he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you
know the defense attorney?" She again replied, "Why, yes I do.
I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to
baby-sit him for his parents. And he, too, has been a real
disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking
problem. The man can't build a normal relationship with
anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire
state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three
different women. Yes, I know him."
The defense attorney was also surprised and shocked.
At this point, the judge brought the courtroom to
silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very
quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you bastards
asks her if she knows me, you'll be! Jailed for contempt!"

Report this joke as: Duplicate   Wrong Rating   Wrong Category  
funny jokes blond jokes adult jokes irish jokes gay jokes johnny jokes

3 votes up
<- Vote! ->
2 votes down
Laff Factor:
PG:1
"You're a high-priced lawyer. If I give you $500, will you
answer two questions for me?"

"Absolutely! What's the second question?"

Report this joke as: Duplicate   Wrong Rating   Wrong Category  
funny jokes blond jokes adult jokes irish jokes gay jokes johnny jokes

0 votes up
<- Vote! ->
0 votes down
Laff Factor:
PG:0
The Jury Selection

An important and very well publicized murder trial was soon to
begin. In preparation for the trial, the tiresome jury
selection process took place, each side hotly contesting and
dismissing potential jurors. One prospective juror, Douglas was
called for his question session. He was asked, "Property
holder?" Douglas replied, "Yes, I am, Your Honor."
Then he was asked, "Married or single?"
Douglas responded, "Married for twenty years, Your Honor."
Then the judge asked, "Formed or expressed an opinion?"
Douglas stated with certainty, "Not in twenty years, Your
Honor."

Report this joke as: Duplicate   Wrong Rating   Wrong Category  
funny jokes blond jokes adult jokes irish jokes gay jokes johnny jokes

19 votes up
<- Vote! ->
14 votes down
Laff Factor:
PG:5
What does an honest lawyer, a smart blonde and the easter bunny
all have in common?

NONE OF THEM EXIST!

Report this joke as: Duplicate   Wrong Rating   Wrong Category  
funny jokes blond jokes adult jokes irish jokes gay jokes johnny jokes

Prev 
Page 
Next 
funny jokes blond jokes irish jokes adult jokes
Google
Web humoama.com



Alan "the Jokemaster" has nothing worth suing over, but you're welcome to read the terms of use for the humorama.com.
It's all made up, but I have a privacy policy here just like real sites do!
Love me and want to tell me? You can email Alan "the Jokemaster"
Lost? Yeah, me too. So I have a Site Index.



















funny blond jokes, funny lawyer jokes, funny adult jokes
Funny jokes, cartoons, blonde, lawyer, political, more Sitemap 0 1 5 6