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229 jokes in the category Kid Safe
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Did the people laugh when the lady fell on the ice?
No but the ice cracked up.
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Why did the Farmer like farming so much?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Q: where do elephants keep their luggage?
A: In their trunks
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A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde were all running from the cops. They decided to split up. The brunette went to the west and jumped in with a pack of dogs. She started barking so the cops went after the red-head. The red-head went to east and jumped in with a pack of cats. She started meowing so the cops went after the blonde. The blonde went south and jumped into a vegetable garden. When the cops caught up with her, she began repeating, "Photosyntehsis, photosynthesis..."
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Church Bulletin Mistakes
1. Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
2. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
3. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
4. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
5. Thursday at 5:00 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All ladies wishing to be "Little Mothers" will meet with the Pastor in his study.
6. Next Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the
new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come
forward and do so.
7. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
8. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
9. The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
10. Weight Watchers will meet at 7:00 pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance.
11. The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
12. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
13. Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30 p.m. Please use the back door.
14. Ushers will eat latecomers.
15. Today's Sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
16. 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some of the older ones.
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