Alan's Hum-o-rama
Proving since 1996 there ARE more than 30 jokes on the internet...
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48 jokes in the category Little Johnny
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Laff Factor:
PG:-19
Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "Whatcha doing, Johhny?"
"My goldfish died," replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. "And I've just buried him."
The neighbor was confused, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Johnny patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your damn cat."
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8
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Laff Factor:
PG:12
Little Johnny was in his 4th grade class when the teacher asked the children that their fathers did for a living. All the
typical answers came up- fireman, policeman, salesman, etc...
Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took Little Johnny aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"
"No," said Johnny, "He plays for the New Orleans Saints, but I was too embarrassed to say so.
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Laff Factor:
R:5
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?" asks the father.
"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3' and I said '6' " replies Johnny.
"But that's right!"
"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?' "
"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said!"
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Laff Factor:
R:9
A few months after his parents were divorced,
Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw
her rubbing her body and
moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her
doing this several times.
One day, he came home from school and heard
her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom,
he saw a man on top of her.
Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes,
threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself,
and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"
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Laff Factor:
R:4
The new English teacher had just taken over
her first class, a group of scruffy,
leering boys.
"Give me a word beginning with 'A,'" she said.
"Ass holes!" said Cameron proudly.
Ignoring his remark, she continued.
Now give me a word beginning with 'B'
"Bastard," came the answer from Freddy.
She immediately gave C a miss and moved on to D.
"Dwarf," said Little Johnny.
With a sigh of relief she asked him what a
dwarf was.
"A little fucker about 60 centimeters tall,"
said Little Johnny.
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