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196  Jokes VOTE: 409 votes 78 votes   The blonde and the lawyer A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa. "Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. Okay says the lawyer, your turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer? "Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. [ Top ]  [ Email this joke to a friend ]   Schijnt een mega motorkledingstore te zijn met zeer schappelijke prijzen.   VOTE: 202 votes 37 votes   A state trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver. "Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?" The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!" Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror,the officer replied, "Ma'am...that's your air freshener." [ Top ]  [ Email this joke to a friend ]     VOTE: 168 votes 19 votes   This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said.... (scroll down)... I love this one ... FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS. [ Top ]  [ Email this joke to a friend ]   Free! Click here for your chance at free prizes! VOTE: 106 votes 21 votes   A blonde is over at this Coke Machine putting fifty cents in, taking the coke, putting it in her pockets, throwing the quarters in, taking the coke, putting it in her pockets, throwing the quarters in, taking the coke, putting it in her pockets. After a while she has a coke in every pocket. She keeps going, stacking the cokes around her on the floor. Finally, the guy behind her, getting pissed off, asks her, "What the HECK are you doing?!" She responds, "Duh, I'm winning." [ Top ]  [ Email this joke to a friend ]     VOTE: 85 votes 11 votes   Horseback Riding A blonde named Anna had a near death experience the other day when she went horseback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. She tried with all her might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, her foot got caught in the stirrup. When this happened, she fell head first to the ground. Her head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as she was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Wal-Mart manager happened to walk by and unplugged it. [ Top ]  [ Email this joke to a friend ]     VOTE: 76 votes 14 votes   There is a blonde and she walks into an electronic store and is looking at a tv and says to the worker "I want to but that tv over there." However the man say's "I'm sorry we don't sell to blondes. So the blonde walks out and dyes her hair brown. The next day she goes back to the store and says "I would like to buy that tv" but the man says "I'm sorry we don't sell to blondes." So the blonde goes home and changes her clothes and shaves her head. Then goes back to the store. She says "I would like to buy that tv" but once again the man says "sorry we don't sell to blondes" the blonde screams at him "how in the hell do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because ma'am that is not a tv, it's a microwave. [ Top ]  [ Email this joke to a friend ]     VOTE: 42 votes 42 votes   Three blondes were walking in the forest they stumble upon some tracks. So, the first one says there deer tracks, the second one says she's wrong their bear tracks, the third one says their elk tracks, then they got hit by the train. [ Top ]  [ Email this joke to a friend ]     Page: 1